Eminem is the wizzard behind the Curtain at the end of Elton’s Yellow Brick Road.

Group 128:

1.) Curtain Call: Eminem
2.) Goodbye Yellow Brick Road: Elton John
3.) MCMXC A.D.: Enigma
4.) Valley Of The Damned: Dragonforce

In reverse order: Dragonforce are bottom as they once again produce metal so spectacularly average it’s hard to imagine how anyone would buy this shit. The thing is, all the ingredients are there. Heavy riffs? Check! Ridiculously fast guitar runs? Check! Tarzan vocals? Check! Layered synthesisers to give the music more colour? Check! Lame songs? Check, Check, Check!!! Other than the quite decent ‘Disciples of Baby‘ which is actually quite groovy in a metal-esque way, these guys really suck.

Enigmas’ debut (and genre defining?) greogorian chanting pop album, is fairly decent. Sadness is obviously a winning track, catchy, original (really original, as in 14th century fnaw!) but unfortunately, this album doesn’t reach the heights of their second album ‘Cross of Changes‘. There are too many musical passages that go nowhere (although a woman orgasming is alaways welcome). Also, why do they suddenly break into the theme tune from ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind‘ near the end? Bizarre.

The group winner is a close call between Eltons’ classic Yellow Brick Road and Eminems’ Greatest Hits. Surprisingly I think that Eminems’ ‘tour de force’ of
comedy/social rap comentry is too strong for Eltons’ laid back piano-led melodies.
Brick Road‘ has such classics as ‘Candle in the Wind‘ and ‘I’ve Seen That Movie Too‘ but is a little bit interspersed with some lesser material. Sure, the musicanship is top notch throughout but I’m not sure I can forgive him for ‘Jamica Jerk Off‘….meanwhile Eminems’ hits has the brilliant ‘Stan‘, ‘Lose Yourself‘, ‘Without Me‘ and the remarkably tuneful ‘Cleaning Out My Closet‘. Slim Shady definitiely wins this group.

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One Response to Eminem is the wizzard behind the Curtain at the end of Elton’s Yellow Brick Road.

  1. Pingback: Weird Al is not Amused whilst R.E.M. get Beaten Down by Dragonforce | English Democracy

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